The last couple of days of Hannah Marcotti’s Spirits of Joy ecourse have been about manifesting our dreams. I’ve spent a lot of time processing my personal myth of lack of worth during this time. It’s been amazing to see how quickly the world can turn around when I let go of my negative stories and invite in the positive.

I’ve been spending some time over the last couple years studying mindfulness, integrating it into my life. Practicing staying in the present has helped create a shift in my reactions to triggers – those things that others may say or do that brings up all my ick.  All the trauma of the past comes rushing forward to almost consume me. Staying in the moment, the PRESENT moment helps me to work through that reaction, helps me to acknowledge it for what it is and let it go.

Breathing, becoming present in my body is a work in progress. It has its challenges. It can be terrifying. Terrifying to feel my body again, after all these years. I’m currently feeling a lot of pain in my abdomen, thanks in part to my endometriosis and adenomyosis. The pain exhausts me. I’m tired and want to nap most of the day away. And yet, yet I am rejoicing in feeling this pain, in feeling my body. I’m rejoicing that I hear my body, hear that it’s in pain, that there is something not right that needs healing. Rejoicing that I’m on many paths to that healing – medical, psychological, spiritual.

When I’m hurting I also am typically cranky. I don’t like to feel uncomfortable, I’m guessing none of us do. Acknowledging that I’m feeling cranky because I’m feeling pain helps me stay in the moment, to not lash out like a wounded animal. To breathe in the moment, to own my pain, my crankiness and not put it on another person. To take responsibility for my actions, my words, my energy.

Breathing. Slowly, deliberately inhaling, and slowly, forcefully exhaling. Breathing in healing. Exhaling the pain. Letting release wash over me.

Breathing heals. Breathing helps us manifest our dreams.

I’ve been breathing a lot these past few days. Acknowledging the negative myth of lack of worth, lack of value. Letting that myth exit my body. As it exits my body, the shift continues within me, creating room for a new story, a positive story. A story where dreams become reality.

In the past few days I’ve made steps towards making a Secret Project, one of my five dreams, reality. Today another piece of the puzzle has potentially slipped into place. Create that little bit of space for the positive to flow in, and flow in it does.

I believe the Universe, God, the Unified Theory, whatever you wish to call that energy that flows and swirls and dances all around us, knows what my dreams are. I believe these dreams will come true. I know how to manifest the feeling behind those dreams in the present now, to create the space for the dreams to manifest in the future.

As I continue to heal, as I release the negative myths, breathe out the pain from my body and soul, more and more space will be available for my dreams to become my reality. More and more space will be available for peace, for joy, for life.

Washing Rocks – photo by me, today while at Lincoln Park

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