Time

This morning, on our way to a friend’s home, where I was to drop of my daughter before I went to work, she said to me “Mama, we haven’t had any you and me time lately. I miss you.”

My heart stopped. My throat closed. Tears welled up in my eyes.

I just finished the semester – the last two weeks I have been focused on writing papers, on school. Not on my girl or husband. It is the ebb and flow of our life.

It’s the holidays and this coming weekend is particularly jam-packed with a wedding, an extended family gathering and then Sunday is baking with a dear family friend. I work again on Monday. Tuesday I’m off to spend time with another friend and to work on my daughter’s Christmas present from me. Wednesday is a play date with dear friends who we won’t see for almost a month after because of the holidays and my school. Thursday, almost a week away is the soonest we’ll have a whole day to just focus on her and me.

I took a deep breath and said “We’ve got a busy week ahead of us, honey. We’re going to have to get our times together in-between it all as much as we can.”

When I got to work I heard the news of the horrifying events in Connecticut. I can’t even begin to imagine.

For my job I’m the supervisor for supervised parental visits with a young child. It’s actually a very rewarding job, getting to witness a parent connect with her or his child. And so I sat in the library, watching this parent and child play and connect, my heart breaking for the families in Connecticut who won’t get that chance to connect with their children tonight, wanting with all my soul to pick up my child in those moments and hold her so close.

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