My daughter is my greatest teacher. I’ve said it a million times by now and will likely say it a million more. While I know this truth in my soul, I’m always surprised how those life lessons from her come through and how I have changed and grown over the years, thanks to her existence.

This year we are making gifts for each other. Money is extremely tight and while gifts from Santa are covered (thank you Gram!), we all agreed that we would only be exchanging homemade gifts from each other. Our daughter requested a peace sign pillow from me a few weeks ago and so yesterday I went to my dear friend’s (and her godmother) home and we made a pattern and made the bulk of the pillow together.

The pillow isn’t perfect. It isn’t what I visioned it to be and I’m sure not what she had in mind.

A year ago I would have been in tears and having a minor rage about how awful the pillow was, how I suck at sewing, how I can’t even make a simple pillow for my daughter, how I’m such a failure as a mother, a human.

The surprise is, that hasn’t happened.

I look at this pillow and I know all the love both I and her godmama have put into it. I know that I will continue to work on it and it will have its flaws and that will be okay. She may or may not notice those flaws. She may hate the pillow, she may love it. And it’s all okay.

My personal growth in the last year is what is amazing and beautiful. My acceptance that I’m not perfect. My acceptance that I do not need to be perfect. My acceptance that my love is enough. My best effort is enough. I am enough.

I’m not a perfect mom. Read more…

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